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palxeno

Member Since 28 Jul 2005
Offline Last Active Dec 17 2010 12:13 AM
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Topics I've Started

don't tell my wife, i want to surprise her!

13 March 2008 - 10:21 PM

Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you *******".
************ ********* ********* ********* ********

Sardar at bar in New York .
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"
************ ********* ********* ********* ********

Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k
Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but? ?
how much is DRIVING salary...?
************ ********* ********* ********* ********

Sardar's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light at
night when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when light
is not needed!!!
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2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the
other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says
YES...NO...YES. ..NO...YES. ..NO...
************ ********* ********* ********* ********
Sardar shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do register marriage
and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post
office....
************ ********* ********* ********* ********

Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and
says, "chal", it walks.
He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.
He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he wrote the conclusion.. ....
........ "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it be comes deaf......"
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A Tamilian call up sardar and asks " tamil therima??"
Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"
************ ********* ********* ********* ********

2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry num be r is also written...BC 1760!!!....
************ ********* ********* ********* ********

A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.
Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?
Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating. .....
************ ********* ********* ********* ********

A sardar for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the
exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . he replaced friend with father
in the essay and>it read: AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS,
SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE
FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********

Interviewar: what s ur qualification?
Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY.. ..
************ ********* ********* ********* ********

Amitab : In which state Cauvery flows?
Sardar : liquid state.....
Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks be hind, ALL WERE SARDARS..... ..







Santa: today I made a fool of water?


Banta: how did you do that?


Santa: I heated some water for a bath and bathed with cold water






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Santa: My wife is still scared of water


Banta: how come?


Santa: yesterday when i went home,

she was in the bath tub with the security guard!!






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Santa to his wife: darling, years ago u had a figure like coke bottle.


Jeeto: yes darling i still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml
now it's 1.5 ltr.



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banta: you cheated me.


shopkeeper: no, i sold a good radio to you.


banta: radio label shows made in japan but radio says this is all india
radio!



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nurse: congrats santa, you are a father.


santa: don't tell my wife, i want to surprise her!
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Everybody was angry with the hike in petrol prices


Santa: Sir, why are you so angry?


Sir: The petrol price is increasing day-by-day, this is not fair.

Santaji, you don't look worried?


Santa: Why should i worry. For me it is the same price.


Sir: how come?


Santa: Earlier also i filled for Rs 100 now also i fill for rs 100!


Sir: ???????????


Wrong mail ID

24 February 2008 - 08:08 PM

tongue.gif A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room,
so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.

However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without
realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned from her
husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting
condolence
messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she fainted. The
widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and
saw the computer screen which read:

------------------------------------------------------------

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Reached
Date: 16 May 2004


I know you're surprised to hear from me. They gave computers here,
and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones.

I've just reached and have been checked in.
I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW!

Bye.

keep sending replies......................sorry that's me...haaaaaaaaaaaahaa lol

Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.

02 February 2008 - 11:29 AM

Element: Woman
Symbol: WO

Discoverer: Adam

Atomic Weight: Accepted as 118 but is known to vary from 100 - 160 lbs.

Occurence: Surplus quantities in all urban areas.



Physical Properties:

1) Surface usually covered in a painted film.

2) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.

3) Melts if given proper treatment.

4) Bitter if used incorrectly.

5) Found in various states, ranging from virgin metal to common ore.



Chemical Properties:

1) Possesses great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and other precious metals.

2) Able to absorb great quantities of expensive substances.

3) May explode spontaneously if left with a MALE.

4) Insoluble in liquids but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol.

5) Yields to pressure applied to correct points.



Uses:

1) Highly ornamental especially in sports cars.

2) Most poweful money-reducing agent known to man.

3) Can be a great aid in relaxation.



Tests:

1) Pure specimen turns a rosy tint if discovered in natural state.

2) Turns green if placed beside a better specimen.



Caution:



1) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.

2) Illegal to possess more than one except in certain areas.


Can I trust you?

17 January 2008 - 12:52 PM

Before marriage....

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!

After marriage....
Simply read from bottom to top.


If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.

10 January 2008 - 02:28 AM

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

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To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.

_____

The road to success??.. Is always under construction.

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Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

_____

In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

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All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.

_____

Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.

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Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works.

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If at first you don't succeed?. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

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You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.

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Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.

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***** 42.7% of all statistics is made on the spot. *****

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As soon as you mention something?? if it is good, it is taken?. If it is bad, it happens.

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He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.

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If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? the bus is still late.

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Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.

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When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.

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If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don't have paper?? if you have both, no one calls.

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Especially for engg. Students----
If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.

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You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.

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The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.

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After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.

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If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.

_____

Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker