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Few Jokes for you


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#11 Sirupate

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Posted 02 November 2003 - 05:43 PM

On the first day God created cow. And God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."
Cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty." And God agreed.

On the second day God created dog. And to dog, God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."
Dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give back the other ten. So God agreed (sigh).

On the third day God created monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span."
Monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay? And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you twenty years."
Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way man. Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty cow gave back, and the ten monkey gave back, and the ten dog gave back. That makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God. You've got a deal."

So that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain
our grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.

Life has now been explained.


#12 okinawa

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Posted 02 November 2003 - 06:22 PM

hasayo hasayo Sirupate le tanna hasaayo............... broda, Akhtar and Cactus were hilarious.

Jhilke pani tenhi thiyo ni..
englishman bore bhayer jhilke lai sodhyo..
what is your favourate flowers?
Jhilke laughed for long time.. and other could not understand, why this jhilke is laughing..
Jhilke finally stopped and said: my favourate is "sisnu" ! if you finish cleaning by cactus, then clean rest by sisnu..


If there is cycle there is pedal and if there is Jhilke, there is Allare.

Our ALLU was also peeping that incident from parkhaal. Englishman saw him and asked:
what is your favourate flower?
ALLU laughed for long time.. and other could not understand, why this ALLU is laughing..
ALLU finally stopped and said: I don have any fav. flower. However, i own hardware shop. After u finish with sisnu, please finalize with "Sand Paper"

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It's been a long time that i have not posted any new jokes.

Sardarji tussi great ho...!!!!!

Aaj tak gets news that 100 sardars are killed in a train accident at
amritsar station. Only one sardar left alive. The correspondent goes to him
ask sardar ji. How did it happen?

Sardar: oh ji puchho mat.. sab kuch sahi tha sab log platform par khade
gaadi ki wait kar rahe they. Achanak announcement hui ki shatabdee express
2 no. platform par aa rahi hai. Jaise hi sab ne suna ki gaddi PLATFORM PAR
aa rahi hai, sab log apni jaan bachane ke liye patri par kood gaye. Aur
tabhi gaddi patri par aa gayi.

Aaj tak: Thank god. Aap ne samajhdari dikhayee. Aap patri par nahin koode.

Sardar: o nahin ji main to suicide karne ki liye patri par hi leta tha.
Jaise hi announcement hui main to platform par chad gaya.




#13 jhilke

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Posted 03 November 2003 - 12:42 PM

laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif

Allare was travelling in a crowded bus. He was carrying the passport size photograph of his son (for college admission). Accidently, the photograph fell down from his pocket. He started searching for it frantically & found it on the floor, below the ends of a woman's saree.
He asked her "Can you lift that saree? I wanna take a photograph" biggrin.gif

He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted to hospital.

He was surprised to see Onikawa on the bed next to him, in a worse condition. Onikawa explained to Allare what happened to him He had gone to a remote village to work. He finished late and missed the last bus. He couldn't find any hotel. So he approached a nearby house and asked the Owner whether he can stay there for the night.
The Owner replied "I have 2 grown up daughters. Sorry,I can't allow you to stay".
He approached the next house and asked whether he can stay there for the night.
The Owner replied,"I have 3 grown up daughters.Sorry,I can't allow you to stay".

It was winter and he was shaking. He was getting tired but had no choice. He went to the next house and asked:" Do you have grown up daughters?".
The Owner asked,"WHY? "
Onikawa replied," I want to stay here for a night" So all the villagers gathered and beat him so badly that he had to be admitted to hospital. laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif



#14 Sirupate

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Posted 03 November 2003 - 12:58 PM

A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.

"Are you crazy?" yelled the customer, "don't bring my meal with your hand on my steak."

"What" answers the waiter, "You want it to fall on the floor again?" laugh.gif


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When Jhilke was little, his teacher asked him if he knows his numbers.
"Yes," Jhilke said. "I do. My father taught me."
"Good. What comes after three."
"Four," answers the boy.
"What comes after six?"
"Seven."
"Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?"
Jhilke replied "A jack" laugh.gif


#15 Sirupate

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Posted 03 November 2003 - 01:24 PM

Okinawa told his boss "I have to have a pay raise, there are other companies after me"
His boss asked "Is that so, what other companies are after you?"
Okinawa replied "The electric company, telephone company and the gas company." laugh.gif

#16 jhilke

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Posted 04 November 2003 - 12:08 PM

QUOTE (Sirupate @ Nov 3 2003, 12:58 PM)
When Jhilke was little, his teacher asked him if he knows his numbers.
"Yes," Jhilke said. "I do. My father taught me."
"Good. What comes after three."
"Four," answers the boy.
"What comes after six?"
"Seven."
"Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?"
Jhilke replied "A jack" laugh.gif

When Allare was little, his teacher asked him if he knows his numbers.
"Yes, I do" Allare said.
"Good. What comes after three."
"Four," answers the boy.
"What comes after six?"
"Seven."
"Very good," says the teacher. "What comes after twenty nine?"
Allare smiled and replied "Twenty Ten" laugh.gif laugh.gif

#17 jhilke

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Posted 04 November 2003 - 12:20 PM

Allare went to a party and he got drunk. Once the party is over he got inside his car to go home but found something is missing so he took out his mobile phone and phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, the radio, and even the accelerator," he cried out.

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind," Allare said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake." laugh.gif laugh.gif


#18 Himal Rai

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Posted 04 November 2003 - 05:08 PM

A guy walks in to the Barbershop.

Barber says, "What will it be today?"

Guy says, "well I want it going with my waves on top, faded on one side, plug the other, and just make it all out of shape and messed up."

Barber says, "Now why in the world do you want your hair cut like that."

Guy says, "Thatís how you cut it last time"

regards
Himal Rai

#19 okinawa

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Posted 05 November 2003 - 12:23 AM

Allare, Jhilke and Sirupate : these guys wives are all in labor. They are all waiting impatiently awaiting whether they are having a boy or girl.

The doctor comes out and asks the Allu, "Mr. Allu where do you work sir?"
The nervous guy answers, "Why, I work at Double A recreations"
The doctor responds..."oh that's good because you have a pair of beautiful baby girls!"

The doctor asks our Jhilku, "Mr. Jhilku Where do you work?"
Jhilku responds politely "I work at Triple J Motors" the doctor says, "Oh good! you have three handsome baby boys!"

All of a sudden the last guy, our and only ours "Sirupate" faints!!! Allare, Jhilke and the doctor are surprised and rush to Sirupate.
"Mr. Siru Mr. Siru - Get up Why did you faint?" asked the doctor.

"Well doc you see, I work at 7-Eleven!" says Sirupate.


#20 newapasa

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Posted 05 November 2003 - 07:10 AM

Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Bekha Man: Seven!

Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Bekha Man: Seven!

Teacher: Let's try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?

Bekha Man: Six.

Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Bekha man: Seven!

Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?

Bekha Man: I've already got one rabbit at home now!
Thought is free.




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