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How to speak like chinese


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#1 GNOME

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Posted 20 August 2008 - 12:06 PM

How To Speak Chinese?

Are you harbouring a fugitive?...............Hu Yu Hai Ding?
Stupid man........................................Dum Gai
Small horse.......................................Tai Ni Po Ni

#2 GNOME

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Posted 20 August 2008 - 12:09 PM

A single Chinese man owns a Chinese restaurant, and one day a beautiful Chinese woman walks in. He immediately walks over and asks her out on a date. She agrees. They go out for a while, and soon, the man proposes to her. She says "Yes, but before we do, there's something you must know. I have never had the sex, but I've read about it." He says that it's not a problem, and they are married.

On their honeymoon, the man tells his wife that since she's a virgin, she can choose what they do first. She says "Oh, most honorable husband. I am honored to be your wife, even though I have never had the sex, but I've read about it. So, I have chosen to have the 69.

The husband looks confused, and after thinking about it, he says "You want.. the beef and broccoli?"


#3 GNOME

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Posted 20 August 2008 - 12:20 PM

Real Translations That Didn't Quite Work

COKE:
The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ku-kou-ko-le. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means "Bite the wax tadpole" or "Female horse stuffed with wax" depending on the dialect.
Coke then researched 40,000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, "Ke-kou-ke-le," which can be loosely translated as "happiness in the mouth."


PEPSI
In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead."


KFC
Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "Finger- lickin' good" came out as "Eat your fingers off."

#4 GNOME

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Posted 25 September 2008 - 01:42 AM

Three Chinese brothers, Bu, Chu, and Fu, want to illegally live in America. The brothers decide to change their names to seem American. Bu changes his name to Buck. Chu changes his name to Chuck. And Fu got sent back to China.

#5 GNOME

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Posted 25 September 2008 - 01:45 AM

A Chinese couple had a new baby. The nurse brings them over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, black baby boy. "Congratulations," says the nurse to the new parents. "What will you name the baby?" The puzzled father looks at his new child and says "I think we will name him "Sum Ting Wong."


#6 GNOME

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Posted 25 September 2008 - 01:51 AM

One morning Nancy Reagan is sorting out the laundry when she comes across one of Ronald`s white shirts. It seems Ronnie`s ball-point pen broke, and it spread a nasty red stain with a dark center on the chest pocket of his shirt. When Nancy gives the shirt to her Chinese laundryman, Wank, he holds it up, and looks at the stain for a couple of minutes. Then, shaking his head with approval, Wank says to Nancy, "Nice shot!"


#7 GNOME

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Posted 25 September 2008 - 01:52 AM

What Chinese dialect do cats speak? Catonese


#8 GNOME

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Posted 25 September 2008 - 01:54 AM

What do you call a Chinese man that has smoked too much pot? Wai Tu Hi


#9 GNOME

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Posted 25 September 2008 - 01:58 AM

Why do Chinese people have such bad aim?
Because their eyes are always closed!


#10 nepalisongs.info

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Posted 29 November 2008 - 05:38 PM

There are times when I fall in love with someone new, but I always seem to find myself back in love with you.


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